Battle For Batman
by DeciphererofDarkness75
Summary: Sometimes, the person you hate the most becomes the person most dear to you. Riddler/Batman, Riddler/Two Face, Joker/Batman, Batman/ Superman
1. Crushing On The Weirdest

Summary: Riddler loves the one no one ever expected...

_**Because He Amused Me**_

Crush.

That was such an interesting word. Crush, crush, crush. Edward Nygma A.K.A. the Riddler enjoyed saying the odd word. Crush.

Crush as in the downfall of weaklings. Those inferior to him.

But he had no idea that there was another meaning to the word, being the smart man that he was. At least, not until this very moment.

"Hey, Edward," said Harvey Dent A.K.A. the Two-Face who doubled as Edward's cell mate, "Do you have a crush on anybody?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Crush. Dictionary. Look. It. Up."

"You mean like demolish?" Edward asked, turning his head towards Harvey in a misunderstanding sort of way. Harvey shrugged and scratched his head.

"I don't know. I overheard the girls talking about it. I think it means 'to like someone.'"

Harvey said, returning Edward's confused look.

Edward was still rather confused. "Well, Harvey, I like a lot of people. I like you, I like-"

"NOT LIKE THAT!" Harvey retorted. Edward looked at him dumbfounded. He then proceeded to lying down on the cold cell floor, back facing Harvey. "Then what does it mean, eh?"

"'To like someone _romantically._'" Harvey said as Edward's eyes shot open.

"_**WHAT?**_" Edward looked at him with fear. "You think I would like someone_ that_ way?! Don't you know me?!" Edward unconsciously grabbed the collar of Harvey's shirt.

"So WHAT?!" Harvey yelled back. "You can't blame a guy-especially your friend-for asking!"

The guard came by and told the two to keep it down. They did so, but Edward was still fuming.

Harvey smirked. "You gotta like _someone!"_

"I don't."

"Ivy?"

"Ew." Edward said in a disgusted tone, turning to face Harvey once again.

"Catwoman?"

"Ew-ER."

Harvey hesitated on the next one. Edward would probably kill him for even considering it. But...gosh, he was curious!

"Batman......?"

Edward was silent. He contemplated that, truthfully, he _did_ kind of like the Bat. But he didn't understand it. He was always doing things to make Batman dislike him, but he didn't know why. He was always practically driving the bat crazy with his riddles, but he didn't understand why. He recently hadn't been looking the Bat in the eye like a confident man would; that was particularly strange. He knew that he would feel a hotness on his cheeks whenever he was around or heard his name; he heard that that was called "blushing."

Ah, so now he saw. Ah, so now he _knew. Is this what people call a "crush"? _But the question that rang in his head over and over in his head was this one simple word: _**WHY?**_ Why, why, why?

The man that put you behind bars. The man that all the villains hated. The man that he was supposed to _absolutely __**hate.**_ Ah, pretend! Pish-posh! It was all a simple play.

Why?

It was him. HIM. Dammit!

Edward felt his heart thump and the blood rush to his cheeks. Oh, yes, he was quite aware of the fact that he was blushing, the fact that Harvey would soon notice the odd tint of redness, and would soon notice Edward's feelings as well.

Feelings? Oh, oh, yes! I haven't told you yet, have I? Ahem.

Edward Nygma/the Riddler...was in love...mad freaking love...

With the Batman.

--

Harvey, getting fidgety of Edward's long pause, looked at his friend inquiringly.

There was a tiny tint of redness on his cheeks, which grew to a massive shade of scarlet. Edward was looking at the floor, at the ceiling, at the wall...anywhere but Harvey's eyes.

Harvey thought it slightly cute.

"You're blushing," he remarked, a smirk forming across the good half of his face.

Edward looked up and their eyes met for the fist time in seven minutes. In Edward's eyes, Harvey saw many things...

Distress. Sorrow. Slight happiness. Coldness. Amusement. Love...

Harvey Dent soon realized how Edward felt about the Batman. He felt a slight pang in his heart, but he ignored it and smiled.

"Do you have a crush on the Batman?"

"I like crushing him like a weakling?" Edward said desperately.

"That's not what I meant." Harvey said flatly. Edward looked at him like he was about to collapse and die. Harvey thought that-when Edward looked so pathetic and puppy-like- it was downright adorable. More than just cute.

As Harvey thought this, he shook his head and blushed. He knew better than to force his feelings onto Edward.

Feelings? Oh. Have I not told you _that_ either?

Harvey was in love with the Riddler. With Edward Nygma.

It was like some sort of gay love triangle. A painful one, at that.

Edward went to the other side of the dark cell and sat there. "When you want to say something, I don't come out. You try to keep your cool, but in the end, I smart you out. I wrap around you like a ghost; slowly consuming my desired host. I hurt, I open your eyes. Yes, indeed, I make you cry. No matter the tactic, you will never fully express me, despite how hard you try. I am pain, I am sorrow, I am glee, what am _I_?"

Harvey smiled at Edward's rhyming riddle. "That was quite poetic."

Edward took pleasure in the comment, but hid it. "I said 'What am I?'"

"Ah, yes." Harvey thought for a moment and flipped his coin, debating. "You are a crush."

"Indeed."

"So you like the Bat?" Harvey stated, still flipping his coin. Edward blushed madly.

Then, Harvey hit the wall. Really, really hard.

"Harvey?! HEY, YOU OKAY?" Edward said, concerned.

Harvey rose and nodded, but deep inside, he was thinking:

_Well?! WHAT ABOUT __**YOU**__, DAMMIT?! DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M "__**OKAY**__" WHEN YOU LOOK SO DAMN CUTE?! ARE YOU STUPID?! FIGURE IT OUT!!! YOU'RE ONE OF THE SMARTEST GUYS HERE!! YOU'RE-YOU'RE SO FREAKING DENSE!!_

Edward nodded, and the two talked about the Batman long into the night.

Harvey fell asleep first, and Edward contemplated his relationship with Batman.

Ah, the Bat. Edward felt a shiver go up his back. He loved the Bat. He could finally admit that to himself, and it felt good. He had been doubting it for so long now, and now he could finally accept it. Edward squeaked as he thought about the Batman.

Strong. Blunt. Secretive. Smart.

That's what had Edward hooked. Smart. The Bat was always deciphering Ed's riddles, even if it annoyed the hell out of him. Edward sighed and giggled. _Oh, crap. I'm acting like a high school girl._

He knew he didn't have a slimmer of a chance to be with Batman, but it was just fun to think about him.

_Hey, riddle me this, Eddie..._he thought to himself, _Who is hopeless when it comes to love? Who has absolutely no chance? _

Edward knew the answer to this, however.

_Me._

Edward swiftly turned around as he heard sharp footsteps. Closer, closer...a slimmer of greenish, uncombed hair, and soon, the Joker was in front of the bars of Edward and Harvey's cell, with a-dead? Or just unconscious?- guard at his feet. Edward's first thought was, _How did he escape? Him, of all villains?_

Joker looked at him menacingly. Edward was surprised by how many things he saw in the Joker's eyes that he'd never seen before...

Hurt. A lot of it. Sorrow. Bridge of tears. Amusement, as always. Love...

Wait, _love?_ Edward looked Joker straight in the eye again, and...yep, there it was. Right there. Only a tiny dent. But Edward could see it. Then, Edward's eyes drifted to the Joker's right hand, which held the keys to a couple of cells. Edward's eyes widened. One of the keys was for cell D7...his.

"Er..." he choked out.

The Joker finally talked, and he sounded surprisingly serious...

"You wanna get outta here?"

Edward stared at Jack quizzically. Something was up. Edward simply nodded.

Joker smiled maniacally. "THEN GIVE UP ON THE BATMAN!!!"

_What...? _Edward thought for a moment. Then he realized.

_Oh, crap. Do I have a rival now?_ He thought as Joker waited impatiently.

---

Hi!! How was that? I thought it was pretty good, and, although the main pairing is Batman/ Riddler, Two Face/ Riddler looked sooo much cuter.

The point of me writing this fanfic was because I wanted to portray the fact that people who are completely different can begin to understand each other; if you noticed, I used the phrase "in his eyes, I saw many feelings" plenty. So, yeah, that was the main plot.

I wonder if I should continue this...? Please R & R and tell me what you think. (My fingers hurt from typing...)


	2. A Rival In Love

1Second chapter!!! Yay!! I'm sorry I didn't get to update reeeeeeal soon. But now that it's summer break, I can do what I want! Now please enjoy Chapter 2.

_**Chapter 2 **_

_**A Rival In Love **_

Edward grimaced at the clown, his rival. He thought about his threat. He thought about his freedom.

"Ne-ver." He answered looking Joker squarely in the eye, abruptly surprised at his own quick answer.

"That...," The Clown Prince of Crime trailed off and looked into the distance. Then he snapped back to Edward. "...is not a very good choice, Riddey-boy."

"Whatever. Look-I like the Bat. Okay? So can you just..."

"Okay."

"Pardon me, _what_?" Edward asked, baffled.

"It would be much more interesting to compete for the Bat with you, and besides, I'm bored." The green-haired man snickered softly while unlocking the cage that surrounded us.

We were being set free. Yay.

Edward shook Harvey awake and at first, Harvey had a complete: "What the hell am I doing here?" look, but when he saw the open gate he was wide awake and out the door.

As the trio came to an exit, they stood in silence as they walked down the streets-staying in the shadows as much as possible-wondering about many things.

As the awkwardness grew, the Joker decided to take up his roll as a "Scene-Calming Agent."

"Alright, since you two have absolutely know place to go.....," he hesitated, as if he was almost disgusted at his own decision. "You can stay at my place."

"Oh, heaven forbid." Harvey said as Joker stared daggers at him, while still smiling, which was quite a scary combination.

As we reached an old, abandoned warehouse, the Joker-as insane as it was- picked at his green hair. He kept rummaging around in the enormous green mess until he found a key and unlocked the rusty door.

Edward and Harvey stared at the Joker in utter disbelief.

"Only way to keep those guards from finding it. What else should I have done? Put it in my eye socket?" The Joker laughed insanely at his not-really-that-funny-joke.

They entered the warehouse.

Spiders and spider webs hung on the walls and crawled on the floors. Brown boxes filled the left and right entrance corners of the warehouse. A worn, blood red couch stood along with a television set in the far back. (It took them a while to figure out that it was blood.) A couple of blankets were stowed away behind the couch, one of which happened to have bats on it, which caught Edward's eye. A single luminescent lamp stood at the side of the couch. (The lights no longer functioned.)

There were absolutely no windows.

"So...........," The Joker paused a moment, then shot back up in a jolt. "Alright! We'll plan our rivalry games! But it mustn't be too obvious, now should it?"

"No, of course not, Joker." Edward replied. "Let us begin."

They shook hands and Edward sat inside one of the large crates while the Joker sat in another approximately 3 yards away from the two. Harvey stood in between them to make sure neither could sneak out of their box and eavesdrop.

Suddenly, Edward got a brilliant idea and formed it in his head.

Suddenly, Joker got a brilliant idea and formed it in his head.

_This is going to be brilliant._

_--_

Bruce Wayne sat at his computer. Not much going on tonight. Oh, wait! Never mind. False alarm.

The Dark Knight sighed. "What the hell am I doing here?" He mumbled to himself.

'_Well, your parents were murdered, you realized how horrible crime was, you trained, you became the Batman. End of story.' _Bruce shook his head, annoyed at his inner voice, which was beginning to sound particularly like a certain green-haired fiend.

"Bad night, Bruce?" Bruce responded without looking towards the Last Son Of Krypton. "Actually, for once, no."

"You could try saying hello?"

"You could try not sneaking up on me like that."

"You mean you didn't notice?"

"I did."

"Thought so."

Superman stared at Bruce for about two seconds, then looked away, embarrassed. He approached the Dark Knight and put a hand on his soldier. Batman froze. That was supposed to be a good sign, right? _Hope so._

"Errr...Bruce, if you ever need anything, I'm right here...o-okay?" The words almost never left Clark's mouth.

Bruce was taken aback at the sudden statement. _Hmm. I can never tell what you're trying to say anymore, Superman. What are you thinking?_

"Right. Whatever."

Superman flew out of the Bat Cave, content with the answer.

_I can never say it. Why can't I say it? You're such an idiot. Why, why, why?_

Without thinking, he flew right into a long haired, green suited man with a question mark cane.

The Riddler.

"Hello. Good evening, Superman."

--

Sorry, I recently have been obsessing with Supy/Batsy, so if you think Superman came out of the blue, he did. Now please review or I won't continue! The Battle for Batman is getting pretty heated now, huh? I think I'm gonna rename it "Battle for Batman." Hmmm. No flames, please.


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